Maddy's Smile

I don't know if she's experimenting with her newly discovered personality or if she's just understanding more, but here are are some pictures of Maddy TRYING to smile when Daddy's about to take a picture. The eye closing remind anyone of someone?

Two Stories of the Aquarium

Saving the Best for Last
So, I'm the kind of guy who saves the best for last...the growth of anticipation and the greatest reward. I have a certain way of eating sandwiches so that the "perfect" bite is always the last one I eat. I ALWAYS eat dessert AFTER dinner. If I know its going to be good, I'll even wait until I get home to open it / eat it / play with it.

Now, knowing that everyone thinks exactly like I do, I had the trip to the Georgia Aquarium all planned out for my mother and Maddy. We would start with the "boring" stuff (the river fishes and the local fare...catfish and the like), make our way over to the pretty reef fishes and the jelly fishes, and finish with the pièce de résistance...the whale sharks and the gynormous (I can use this word now, grammar Nazis...look it up) aquarium they're housed in.

Now, I know what you're thinking and believe me, I was surprised too. Not everyone thinks exactly like I do. In fact, some people have completely differing opinions, but I digress. For those who have not had the opportunity to make it to the Georgia Aquarium, suffice it to say that its amazing. It is currently the largest aquarium in the world and the exhibits are grand (especially the belugas and the whale shark enclosure...my opinion), but for those of you who may have a grandmother and a two year old in tow, it might be better to see the best sights first before a nap could outshine the beauties of the deep.

The Grouper
My sister should remember this and my mother may as well. This is a story that begins many many years ago with a book called (I think) "Sharks and Other Dangerous Sea Creatures." It was a small book of glossy photos that my father bought for my sister and I to share (although I think I had possession of it for the most part). On the cover, it had a picture of the mouth and little beady eyes of a (not so happy) moray eel and inside were pictures of the various creatures and a brief synopsis of the reasons why this particular animal had the honor of gracing the pages of the book.

The one that always stuck with me wasn't the great white or the barracuda or even the poisonous sea snakes and snails that could get you without you even knowing it. No, the one that always stuck with me was the giant grouper and there was one sentence that did it. It went something like this: "...and although the giant grouper is not generally dangerous to man, it could easily swallow prey the size of a small boy."

Now, when faced with a tiny 2" x 3" picture of this scary sea creature, its easy to laugh it off and then secretly think to yourself "man, I hope I never meet one of those in a dark alley." Its a different story altogether when you're standing face to face with the 400 pound monster with your (smallish) two year old standing behind you and rather disturbing to know first hand that the book was right. I think I saw him eyeing her hungrily.

So even though we were all tired, we managed to make it through the aquarium unscathed and even venture over to the NEW World of Coke. Although Maddy absolutely REFUSED to pet the bear, she couldn't bear to have the bear (get it? bear) out of her sight throughout the rest of the exhibit.

Terrible? Not So Much

Well folks, as you can see by the counter to the right, I now have a two year old. Funny I don't feel any different. I wonder if she does? She has certainly come a long way. So here are a few things I remember from the last two years:

* I remember wondering how such a small thing was going to turn into a little human. It is amazing how much she has changed!

* I remember love at first sight. Something that hasn't changed or faded and never will.

* I remember being amazed at her first laugh and cries that could have been made by the angels (ok...that may have changed a little at this point).

* I remember the sheer and utter terror at her first word: shoes. This is the root of words like prom dress, college, and wedding.

* I remember her first birthday and her starting to walk more and more every day.

* I remember the first time she called me daddy and actually knew what she was saying and the first time she said I love you.

* I remember the burrito and the stick dance.

* I remember wondering if she would ever get any hair and being amazed when her little teeth started to come in.

* I remember the first time she climbed the stairs.

* I remember that she was never afraid of Blitz (what am I saying? she isn't afraid of anything!) and that they are always looking out for each other.

She is growing to be a strong willed, intelligent little girl who is adding new things to her vocabulary, her understanding, and her overall life experience every day. I just hope that I am everything she always wanted in a father and that I teach her to be kind and compassionate, free thinking and intelligent, beautiful on the inside and out, strong and open, willful and patient, amazing and amazed, curious and cautious, and a dreamer who lives her life to the fullest potential of those dreams.

So here's to you my beautiful and amazing little two year old. My lover of the Robert des Eponge Jaune. My Wiggles dancer. My cheese pizza, cheese hot dog, string cheese, and poptart eater. The apple of her daddy's eye and love of his life.

Madelyn Delaney McCoy - Two years old February 28, 2008.

Brave New World: Chapter Two

The (long awaited) Dark
There are fears most common to all humans. Stories have passed from generation to generation and the knowledge still does not seem to lessen the fear. Spiders and snakes, heights and death, talking to girls (c'mon, you know its true) to name a few. But one of the scariest things we face every day is going into dark, unknown places. What kid (and more adults than we'll mention here) hasn't sped up the basement stairs all the while telling themselves that they just wanted to see how fast they could get to the top? Is there one among us who hasn't looked over our shoulder while walking down a dark deserted street? I think not.

Well, there is one. At least there's talk of one.

There's a little girl I've heard of who has to brave the monsters of the dark garage every morning on her trek to school. She's always the first one in and the last one out and she doesn't ever leave anyone behind. You see, while she's taking the first tentative steps into the darkened garage, her daddy is dealing with a vicious, snarling guard dog who is always trying to get out (or maybe he's just trying to get a piece of the little girl...you'll have to decide). All the while, the little girl (we'll call her Maddy) is looking out for the monsters.

As she moves her small and seemingly fragile foot from the threshold to cold, hard garage floor, she turns to her daddy and says "where monters?" Now ladies and gentlemen, having asked that question several times in the last year myself, I know that anytime those words have passed my lips I have uttered them with a slight tremor, a chill running down my back. I don't know if she's challenging those monsters or just calling out to those she considers equals, but when you hear it come from that little mouth, its as if a tangible specter of fear leaves the room quietly knowing that it will have no victims today. The sweetness, untouched by the steel of many a dark monster campaign, almost warming those around her...no fear, just conviction.

As much as her daddy tries to explain that there aren't any monsters in that dark garage, she knows the truth. She knows that if her daddy would actually clear away some of the clutter and mishmash of semi-used and just plain unused articles, he would be able to see the teeth and claws and the red, beady eyes. But, she doesn't let it phase her. She just continues on into the void knowing that she is the vanguard for the much weaker force that comes behind her. Even when they are most vulnerable...those moments between the time daddy closes the door to the kitchen so the vicious attack beast doesn't wreak havoc during the day and when he opens the big garage door...she is ever vigilant. Listening to the silence while her eyes adjust to the near black; her catlike reflexes ready to pounce on would be attackers and predators.

An interesting side note here. Her attacks are so advanced and well honed, a normal observer would almost view them as the learning stumbles of a two year old child. We know better.

While most of this talent can be attributed to natural instincts, our Warrior of the Dark has enhanced her skills with other less known techniques. Some of these techniques are known by a few masters worldwide while others can only be found in the East (that would be EST...like Atlanta). For instance, the ability of her senses to pierce the darkness is a talent born from years (almost two) of harsh discipline. Her sleeping chamber or "bedroom" is adorned with only ONE night light. This allows her eyes to naturally adjust quickly to low light conditions much like the oft overlooked but never underestimated lemur. Additionally, her monster knowledge comes from an ancient and little known source called "DVDs." While Barney and Dorothy were good starting points, Maddy quickly tired of Barney (I hope) and simply dances around with Dorothy (it seems almost like a cat playing with a mouse). Only one DVD has been able to get Maddy where she is today. It is known as Monsters Inc. (see link for some horrifying images and facts) and it is essential for any up and coming monster eliminator out there. And, while good enough for any mediocre apprentice, the aforementioned training doesn't even take into account the legendary contact Maddy has had not only with the brutal guard beast who advances on her with rough tongue and whip like tail lashing, but also the hordes of other acclaimed and persistent talent she must challenge daily at the Shining Star Academy (her guild hall).

Needless to say, this dedication to her duty and constant vigilance saves lives every day and hopefully adds just a little bravery to our hearts the next time we turn out the light that seems just a little too far from the bottom of the basement stairs.

Brave New World: The Slide and The Dark

There are things Maddy does that amaze me every day. She is always learning new words and is constantly taking on new challenges. Along those lines, I'd like to share a couple stories of bravery and fortitude that my daughter would probably think are unnecessary and overdone for the media. She would say "I'm not a hero. I was just doing my job." Well, here are a couple of stories of Maddy just doing her job.

Chapter One: The Slide
There is a park I take Maddy and The Blitz to a lot. It has a huge field and a walking path that goes around the field and even some wild and unexplored jungles (OK...some GA woods in the middle of Acworth, but...). There is also a rather large jungle gym (or whatever they call them now...Activity Unit for the Age Challenged?) that has two slides. In order to get to the slides, one has to walk up some stairs, climb through a tube, and make a decision as to which slide to go on...a crossroad, if you will. Depending on your point of view, each slide has its challenges (I know, the picture does it no justice but the adrenaline has no choice but to flow).

The first slide (right) has a small twist in it that slows the "slider" slightly before the second steep descent is taken. While it doesn't happen often, there are legends of two, three, and even a couple four year olds that try to take the curve too fast and end up with a wicked case of static cling that can take an excruciating 15 minutes to clear up. The second slide (left) is the real killer. It's a straight shot for 10, maybe even 15 feet shooting sliders down the slippery slope at a heart stopping one mile an hour. I've heard that one daredevil greased his pants and had the Acworth police clock him at 2.2 mph, but as of this report, the rumors are unsubstantiated.

So, what does this have to do with Maddy, you might ask? Well, with Daddy's help, Maddy has been down both of these treacherous slopes, but she hasn't really had the opportunity to face the challenge alone. Recently, all three of us were at the park and Daddy had to make sure Blitz didn't eat any other small children or their parents, so Maddy had the run of the Jungle Gym. As she mounted the stairs for the first time, a chill ran down my spine. She didn't have a helmet or any of the padding one would normally expect with this kind of stunt, so I was understandably nervous. As she crawled through the tube (with a "Hi Daddy" at the end), the smallest bit of selfishness entered my brain. "Don't let her go to the slow slide," I thought, "She's fearless. She can take the speed." Well, as my beautiful baby turned to her left...to the slower, but yet still dangerous, bendy slide...I thought "Its OK. I love her unconditionally. She's just not ready for it yet."

And then...

Two steps toward the bendy slide, a turn of her head, a shift of her weight. Her head turned toward me as if to say "I can DO it Daddy." It could have been a trick of the light or just a Daddy's faint hopes, but the sudden look of determination in her eyes almost scared me. Her radiant blue eyes took on a steely glint as she turned and looked to the challenge of the straight speedy slide. And then, with a determined gait, she took one, then another step toward her goal. The ultimate toddler challenge. As if time had sped up and forced her to accept her fate, she was suddenly at the precipice. "Don't look down," I thought, "You can make it if you...just...don't...look...down!"

Her mount wasn't graceful...it was utilitarian...just what she needed to get her there, but not loose and floppy enough to get a deduction from the judges. Her little legs hung over the edge and her eyes said a soft goodbye to me before the focus returned.

And then she was gone...

I couldn't tell if it was two seconds or three seconds...an eternity, I know. The world just seemed to stop. And then with a laugh and a jump, her hair sticking up all the way, she was back. She had made it. No death and destruction. No mangled limbs. Just my little girl again in all her dirty, smiley, blue eyed cuteness. My little heroine.

Stay tuned for chapter two: The Dark. Coming soon!

For Bonnie...

Bonnie requested some special pictures of the Maddy. Lucky for me, I had taken just what she wanted last night. There are also a few new bathtime videos with a surprise for Daddy in one of them.

Enjoy the cuteness...

Rebel...Suffer...Rebuild...Accept

So, my daughter was being bad last night.

We had subs for dinner and my beautiful little angel of a daughter was apparently not too hungry. So instead of saying "father, i do not feel like the submarine sandwich that you have provided me," she proceeded to spit out what she had in her mouth and throw the rest of her sandwich on the floor.

So I tried an experiment. Now, it is rare that I will even look cross eyed at the beauty that is my daughter, but this time, I was a little miffed. So, I gently took her little hand in mine and... At this point, I am searching for a word. Slap? No...not even nearly. Smack? Not even close. How about we go with "tap." So, I gently took her little hand in mine and gave it one tiny tap. Not even enough to make a noise...just enough for her to even feel the touch of my hand on hers.

Well, you would think the world had caved in, the sun had imploded, and hell had expelled the demons and let them lose upon the earth. OK...so maybe not THAT dramatic, but you can see where I'm going here. Her face crinkled and her eyes squoze shut and her little hands and arms came up in little balls of pure and unabashed sorrow and hurt. Tears came rolling down her little cheeks as her mouth twisted into a miniature mask of pain. The cries, a gutteral wail of emotion and longing for the days when everything was just so simple...so without the sorrow of the cold Winter longing for the Spring. I can go on and on (and apparently I do).

Now usually, if I do a little slap of the hand, this same thing happens and I break down and go to my child. I hold her close, tell her that daddy loves her and then we go on...even though the the behavior (thrown food, a beaten Blitz, a broken...thing, etc.) has just been essentially rewarded instead of punished. Well, this time, I just let it go...a little test to see what would happen next.

And here's where I lose you. Because all the mothers and fathers and anyone who has had to take care of a child in the long-term knows that the crying...the punishment crying, not the "my arm has fallen off and it stings a little" crying...will usually stop once they don't get the attention they are craving (but don't know they're craving). As happened with the love of my life that is Madelyn. As much as it killed me not to go to her and hold her tight, the crying stopped, and she ate some more of her dinner.

When we were done and starting to clean up, I asked her for a hug. And she came to me and gripped me tight like she now understood that tighter is better and that it feels really good to hug and be hugged.